Controversy without contention

In a word, I suppose, diplomacy. Of course, I am only an armchair diplomat, having neither experience nor training.

The cognitive dissonance (required of posts in this blog) in this post is pretty subtle, as the two words are very closely related.

Disagreements happen all the time. It seems that we are built in such a way as to see situations from our particular perspective, which is necessarily different from the perspective of another, even if standing very close and looking in the same direction. As we attempt to communicate our view, it may be different from our listener's view, and controversy can easily ensue.

In this respect, may I draw your attention to this quotation from a presentation, ¨Seeing beyond the Leaf¨, given by Dieter F. Uchtdorf as the keynote address at the Church History Symposium of 2014. It is based on an analogy of individuals as leaves of a tree.

One of the weaknesses we have as mortals is to assume that our “leaf” is all there is—that our experience encompasses everyone else’s, that our truth is complete and universal.

Controversy does not have to degenerate into contention, although it easily can, especially if those involved feel strongly about their respective viewpoints. Perhaps the simplest way to achieve resolution is to agree to disagree. One could hope that the parties involved would take care to understand each other's point of view first, but of course that takes time and effort not to mention willingness to listen and effort to understand.

In another word, this post is about peacemaking.

In her patriarchal blessing, our mother was promised that her children would be peacemakers. I remember her often telling us this as we quarreled together. Personally, I have more often been a peace-seeker rather than a peace-maker, preferring to avoid even controversy, let alone contention. I can only recall one, very short-lived, fist fight in which I was involved, and that completely unintentional. This is recounted in the first of seven western stories in another blog. The second story there is an example of my avoiding controversy in a passive-aggressive way, which comes more naturally to me than fisticuffs.

There is much more to say about controversy without contention, so this is merely an introduction. In many ways, this blog is motivated by my desire to reify the promise in my mother's patriarchal blessing, at least for one of her children.